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How to forgive and become free

Writing about forgiveness or talking about it is not an art. The true art is to live forgiveness. Why you should aim for it nevertheless. For your own sake.

Forgiving is not an easy task indeed.

The person that forgives, must be wounded and have experienced a great deal of pain.

Otherwise forgiving would not be necessary.

Before I started writing this post, I pondered what the reasons are that people are not able to forgive.

It is like holding on to an old path, that we do not want to leave.

Often because of pain.


A horrible experience.

A trauma.

Anything, that wounded our heart deeply.

By holding on to the pain, to the anger and to the disappointment, we remain in the same place: in the past.

Children can easily forgive. Day by day and again and again.

Children live in the moment, contrary to us adults.

The older we get, the more pain we have to carry around with us.

The events accumulate.

Imagine one disappointment symbolises a little stone.

How many disappointments did we already have in our childhood and adolescence.

The more stones accumulate in our life, the bigger the mass of stones.

Eventually we have a rock of disappointment that does not only get bigger, but also hardens our heart.

As long as we carry the rock with us, we cannot get through life with ease.

The misbelief, that we have to hold on to this chunk, for the sake of justice, paralyses us.

Why should we forgive someone, that has wronged us?

Someone who does not deserve to be forgiven?

Who sets the standard for who is worthy of forgiveness?

I was once in an unhealthy relationship where I was treated badly.

I remember one night very well. I woke up in the middle of the night and felt very strongly that God wanted to tell me something.

I sat myself in front of my journal and started writing down everything that was on my mind and heart.

My anger, my disappointment, my pain.

Suddenly, after a while, I felt love inside of me.

A feeling that I had not felt for months.

I never thought that I would be able to feel something like that ever again for my partner at the time. I was literally perplexed to feel love inside me for him.

How was that possible?

In hindsight I know it.

While I wrote down everything, I was able to put the past behind me.

This enabled me to forgive.

In this moment of forgiveness was I able to feel love.

Forgiveness is the moment when we choose to leave the pain behind and to look ahead instead

When we forgive someone, we should not do it for another person, but for our own sake.

Forgiving is a choice.

Forgiving frees us.

Forgiving brings us closer to God.

I want to encourage you to reflect over the topic forgiveness this month.

Is it time to forgive someone, so that you can close an old chapter and restore freedom?

Forgiveness fills your heart with peace, where there was once pain and bitterness.

I would love to hear what the topic forgiveness sparks in you.

Feel free to e-mail me and share.



Ps: The next post will be about receiving forgiveness. Stay tuned.


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